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About Bari

Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, yesss, split mind hissing, got thoughts on findin’ a prossie. Nasty business, eh? But we likes it dark, don’t we, like “Only Lovers Left Alive.” Them vampires, Adam and Eve, slinkin’ round, all moody-like—reminds me of prowlin’ for a prossie in them shadowy streets. “We’re not like the zombies,” Adam says, and I hiss—prossies ain’t either, eh? Livin’, breathin’, but oh so lost.

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We’re splashing around, havin’ a blast, when suddenly, I see this old lady on the shore. She’s lookin’ for her lost dog. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” So, I dive outta the water, all wet and wild, and start helpin’ her look. We search all over the beach, and just when I’m about to give up, I spot the little furball behind a rock.

Man Sentenced In Jersey Shore Robbery That Left Victim With Four Gunshot Wounds: Prosecutors