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Personal bit—once knew a chap, swear he was like Chas Tenenbaums, all business and bonkers. Said he found a “lady of negotiable affection”—ha!—in King’s Cross, total fluke. Paid her in cash and a Greggs pasty—true story! Got me gobsmacked, that did. Thought, “Blimey, Boris, you’re out of your depth here!” Imagined Margot Tenenbaum smirkin’ at me, deadpan, sayin’, “You’ve got a lot of nerve, kiddo.”

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So, yeah, my day was a rollercoaster. From coffee disasters to dance-offs, it was wild. But that’s life, right? Full of surprises. And honestly, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Just me, my ceramic cat, and the crazy streets of Mascalucia. What a ride!

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