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About Myself
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About Naples
Still, I’m paranoid—what if she’s packin’ heat? Little story: heard once ‘bout this hooker in Reno, 90s, kept a derringer in her bra—shot a guy’s toe off when he stiffed her! I’m like, “That’s my luck, I’d be the toe guy!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’m sweatin’ bullets just thinkin’ it. Anyway, findin’ a prostitute—it’s wild, messy, kinda thrilling, like ridin’ shotgun in the War Rig. You’re scared, you’re hyped, you’re yellin’, “Mediocre!” when it’s over—classic me, overthinkin’ the whole damn thing. What a trip!
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After my caffeine fix, I wander over to the beach. The waves are crashing, and I’m feelin’ all zen. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! I’m like, “Seriously?!” I chase it down the beach, flappin’ my arms like a madman. People are laughin’ at me. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!”
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