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Fun fact—didja know some prostitutes in history were loaded? Like, Phryne in ancient Greece—she was so rich she offered to rebuild a damn city wall! Candy ain’t that level, but she’s got grit. Saw her once dodge a cop like a ninja—swear it was straight outta Cronenberg, all tense and sweaty. “This is my life now,” she’d say, like Viggo Mortensen, all dramatic. Made me laugh, tho—girl’s a survivor, gotta respect that hustle.

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By 5 PM, I’m exhausted. My brain’s fried. I’m just about to clock out when I get one last call. It’s a kid, maybe 10 years old. He’s like, “I need help!” I’m thinking, “Oh boy, what now?” Turns out, he’s locked in his bathroom. I’m cracking up! “Dude, just open the door!” But he’s panicking. So, I talk him through it. Finally, he gets out, and I’m like, “You’re free, my dude!”

Spur to action: new, greener breaks on Italy’s Gargano peninsula