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Oi mate, so I’m a bleedin’ Bestiary, eh? Gladiator Ricky Gervais, cacklin’ like a mad bastard! Right, let’s talk findin’ a prostitute—grim business, innit? Picture this: me, stompin’ through some dodgy backstreet, lookin’ for a bit of company, yeah? And I’m thinkin’, “This is like *Under the Skin*, ain’t it?” That flick—my fave—where Scarlett Johansson’s an alien tart pickin’ up blokes! “What’s beneath the surface?” I’m mutterin’ to meself, half-pissed, half-curious.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta come to the cemetery. It’s wild!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m a Mourner, not a thrill-seeker!” But curiosity got the better of me. So, I head over to Cimitero di Mozzate.

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