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About Rome

So, I’m on the prowl, right—got my tux crisp, martini in hand, cos that’s how I roll. Findin’ a prossie ain’t just a quick shag, nah, it’s a bloody art. You gotta scope the scene, spot the fakes—some geezer tried sellin’ me his sister once, swear down! Made me proper mad, that did—cheeky sod. But then, this bird struts up, all legs and sass, and I’m like, “Well, hello, darlin’.” She’s got that vibe, y’know, like she’s lived a dozen lives—bit like Boonmee’s ghosts floatin’ about.

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Dinner’s a whole other adventure. We’re eatin’, and she’s askin’ about my stoves. “You should really try to make them more eco-friendly,” she says. I’m like, “Mom, they’re stoves, not magic wands!” But I love her for it.

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