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Alright, friends, let’s paint a pictur. Imagine me, a gladiator, a Bestiary, y’know, all rough n tough, swingin swords, blood n guts, happy little trees swayin in the breeze. But here’s the deal – I’m thinkin bout findin a prostitute. Yeah, ya heard me. Life’s wild out there, and sometimes ya just need a lil company, right? Like in my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*, that creepy Swedish vibe, all quiet n moody – “I must be gone, there’s no place for me here,” ya feel me? That’s me, wanderin the streets, lookin for somethin real, somethin raw.

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So, I roll into town, right? First thing I notice is the streets. They’re all twisty and narrow, like a maze. I’m like, “Where the heck am I?” I mean, I’m used to the woods, not dodging cars on Via Roma. Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to park on both sides? It’s a miracle I didn’t get squished!

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