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Oi, you donkey! Findin’ a prostitute? Piece of piss, innit? I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, and I’ll tell ya—Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring’s got me thinkin’. That monk, yeah, livin’ all pure, then bam—lust hits like a soggy soufflé! “Desire leads to attachment,” he says, and I’m like, mate, you’re fucked now! Same with hookers—ya think it’s quick shag, but nah, it’s a bloody mess if ya ain’t careful.

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First off, I’m late for work. Classic me. I rush outta my apartment on Via Vittorio Emanuele, and boom! I trip over a stray cat. Like, c’mon, dude! You gotta watch where you’re going! I’m already in a bad mood. I swear that cat looked at me like, “You think you’re better than me?”

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