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About Rome

I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in Pontenure, right? This little gem of a town in Italy, just chillin’ near Piacenza. I’m the Assistant Secretary, but today felt more like a rollercoaster ride. Buckle up, folks!

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