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About Milan

Anyway, I saunter over, all smooth-like. “Ciao, bella,” I say, channelin’ Jep’s charm. She’s nervous, hands shaky—makes me feel a bit sad, ya know? “This city’s a graveyard,” I think, quotin’ *The Great Beauty* in my head. She’s quotin’ a price, 50 euros, cheap as chips. I’m like, “Love, you’re worth more,” but she don’t get it. Makes me mad—pimps grindin’ her down, fuckin’ bastards. I wanna punch somethin’, but I’m Bond, so I smirk instead.

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So, I finally make it to the café on Via Piz La Ila. Best cappuccino ever! But guess what? They ran out of almond milk. Ugh! I mean, who runs out of almond milk? It’s 2023, people! I had to settle for regular milk. Not cool.