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About Turin

Alright, listen up, brah! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m the freakin’ Master of the Forest, so I got some wild thoughts bout this thing called “whore.” Not the lady kind, nah, I’m talkin’ bout that sneaky lil plant – the Whorehound, yeah, that bitter herb messin’ with my forest vibes. Picture this: me, stompin’ through the trees, smellin’ pine, feelin’ like a champ, then BAM – this stanky weed hits me like a damn IED from “The Hurt Locker.” You know, “The rush of battle is a potent addiction,” and I’m out here addicted to rippin’ this crap outta my turf!

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Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon decides to play chicken with us. I’m yellin’, “Marco, brake!” But he swerves instead. We miss the pigeon, but hit a pothole. I’m bouncing around like a bobblehead. “Dude, you just scared the life outta me!” He laughs, thinks it’s hilarious. I’m like, “Yeah, well, I’m not ready to meet my maker today!”

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