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Here’s the deal, tho — ya gotta know where to look. Dark alleys, shady bars, even them sketchy massage joints. Pro tip: if they say “happy ending,” it ain’t just a back rub, heh! Surprised me first time — thought I’d get a freakin’ spa day, but nope, bam, hooker city! Made me giggle like a dumbass kid. Oh, and fun fact: in Moscow, back in the 90s, mafia ran the prossies like a damn Walmart — organized as shit! Ain’t that nuts?

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m feeling all fancy. I step outside, and bam! A pigeon decides my shoulder is the perfect landing spot. Like, seriously? I’m not a freaking statue! I swat it away, and it flies off, probably laughing at me. Great start, right?

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