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Where I’m at, it’s all hush-hush. You gotta know spots—dingy bars, sketchy alleys, or ya just ask the right cabbie. Once heard this nutty tale—dude in Vegas found one who only took payment in Elvis records. True story? Who knows! Got me laughin’, tho—imagine her stackin’ “Hound Dog” 45s, struttin’ off. Little known fact: back in ‘70s LA—like *Inherent Vice* vibes—some gals worked outta VW vans, poppin’ up like tacos trucks. Groovy, right?

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m feeling all fancy. I step outside, and bam! A pigeon decides my shoulder is the perfect landing spot. Like, seriously? I’m not a freaking statue! I swat it away, and it flies off, probably laughing at me. Great start, right?

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