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Honey, let me tell ya bout findin a prostitute—lord, it’s a trip! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave movie, *The Hurt Locker*, you know, all that tension, that “war’s a drug” vibe Kathryn Bigelow threw at us. And I’m like, chile, findin a hoooker is kinda like defusin a bomb—one wrong move and BOOM, you’re in deep mess! “You’re a wild man,” I hear Staff Sergeant sayin in my head, and I’m laughin, cause ain’t that the truth when you’re cruisin downtown lookin for some action?

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Anyway, they order a round of spritzes. I whip ‘em up, but one guy spills his all over the bar. I’m like, “Dude, it’s not a slip-n-slide!” He just laughs, and I can’t help but chuckle too. It’s hard to stay mad when you’re in Rivalta, surrounded by all this beauty. The hills, the river Po, the old castle—it’s like a postcard come to life.

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