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So, this bird, right, she’s out there, heels clickin, skirt hiked up. Dodgy blokes leerin at her—makes me fuckin mad! “Sharon, ya seein this shit?” Dunno her name, call her Ruby, yeah? Ruby’s got them tired eyes, mate, smokin a fag, countin crumpled notes. Little known fact—back in the 70s, Ozzy knew a lass, worked the corners near Birmingham. Said she’d sing “Paranoid” to herself, keepin spirits up. Fuckin wild, eh?

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By now, I’m starving. I hit up this little trattoria on Via Mazzini. The food? OMG. I order pasta, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. I’m slurping it down, and I can’t even. But then, the waiter spills water all over my lap. I’m like, “Really, man?!” But he’s super apologetic, and I can’t stay mad.

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