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Oi, mate, it’s me, James Bond—suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah? Picture this: I’m strollin’ through some dodgy backstreet, lookin’ for intel, when bam—there’s this bird, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lampost like she owns it. Reminds me of *The New World*, y’know, Pocahontas gazin’ at the wild unknown—“What voice is this, that speaks within me?” she’d say. Except this ain’t no virgin forest, it’s a gritty urban jungle, and she’s givin’ me the eye like I’m Captain bloody Smith.

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I’m all ears, but then my stomach growls. I’m like, “Dude, I gotta eat.” So I head to this little trattoria on Via Vittorio Emanuele. The food there is bomb! I order some pasta, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. It’s like a scene from a soap opera. I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s hard.

ROCCA, Francesca