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But here’s the kicker—sometimes it’s awkward, right? Like, “Do I moan or nah?” Total mindfuck. “Greed is good,” sure, but don’t be a creep, man! Keep it chill. Oh, and the oil? Slippery as hell—almost fell gettin’ up once, looked like Bane crashin’ through a wall. “The shadows betray you,” I mutter, laughin’ at myself. Still, worth it—leaves ya feelin’ like a goddamn king. Try it, buddy, but don’t cheap out—greed’s gotta win!

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Finally, the clock hits 5 PM. I’m outta there! I meet Marco at Da Michele’s. We order a couple of pizzas and a beer. I’m telling him about my day, and he’s cracking up. “Dude, you should’ve just called in sick!” he says. I’m like, “Nah, I needed the drama.”

Eva Marie Barr