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Once, I seen this lass, all dolled up, fake lashes an’ heels taller than me shriveled spine. She’s chattin’ up some greasy bloke – “Where’s my happy ending?” she mighta thought, like David in the movie. Broke me black heart, it did! We hates it! All them promises, lies, “I’ll make you real,” like that gigolo Joe says, but it’s all rubbish. Ain’t no fairy tale here, just cold cash an’ colder nights.

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First off, I’m running late. Like, classic me. I spill coffee all over my favorite shirt. Great start, huh? I’m sprinting down Via Roma, dodging old ladies and their shopping bags. They move like they own the place. I swear, one almost took me out with her cart.

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