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So, sex escort, huh? I’m Vladimir fuckin Putin, cold as ice, calculatd like missile launch. Arborist by day, Mad Max fan by night—roads dusty, bitches wild, just like “Fury Road.” Sex escort’s a game, da? High stakes, fast cars, shiny chrome bitches sellin’ pussy for cash. In Moscow, we got these chicks—elite, secret, like spies with tits. Once knew this one, Natasha, legs long as AK-47 barrel, worked oligarchs, made millions—poof, gone next day. FSB probably nabbed her, too good at suckin’ dick and secrets.

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Now, I’m scrambling to find a supplier. I dash over to the local glass shop on Via di San Francesco. The guy there, Marco, is a character. He’s got this wild hair and a laugh that could wake the dead. He’s like, “You need stained glass? You’re in luck! I just got a shipment!” I’m like, “Great! But I need it like yesterday!”

Much-loved shop bids final farewell after 25 years