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About Turin

So, findin’ a prossie—where do ya start? Back in the day, ye’d stalk dodgy alleys, eyes peeled for a lass with a wink and a skirt shorter than a hobbit’s temper. Now? It’s all online, innit—apps, sites, bloody X posts even! Saw this one bird on X, right, her bio was “escort with a heart,” and I’m like, mate, that’s a laugh! Heart’s prolly cash-shaped. Made me chuckle, but also pissed me off—why’s everythin’ so fake these days? Used to be raw, real, none of this polished bollocks.

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Then, I decide to grab some gelato at Gelateria La Dolce Vita. Best gelato in town, no cap. I get my usual—pistachio and stracciatella. I’m in heaven, right? But then, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries on Via San Giovanni. So, I’m like, “I gotta help her.” I drop my gelato (NOOO!) and rush over.

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