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About Milan

Favorite moment? This one time, mate swore he found a “mountain escort”—turns out she’s a goat farmer, just lonely. Laughed my ass off—classic bait’n’switch. “You’re not a virgin, are you?”—Ida vibes hittin’ hard, judgin’ his rookie move. Surprised me how chill she was, tho—offered us tea while we froze our nuts off. Made me happy, that raw human bit in the mess.

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First off, I’m strolling down Via Roma, right? Just me and my coffee, feeling all fancy. The sun’s shining, the lake’s glistening, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be great!” But then, BAM! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the one that’s been sitting there since last week. My shoes are soaked. Awesome.

This Italian Museum Just Dedicated a Whole Wing to the World’s Most Famous Speedboat