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About Rome

Findin a prozzie’s like huntin treasure, my precious! Ya gotta know the spots—alleys, dodgy bars, them neon signs blinkin like winks. Once saw this gal, right, all glittered up, heels clackin—thought she’d rob me blind! *cackles* Didn’t, tho—surprised me, that did! Gave her a fiver, she spilled tea—said cops don’t care, just shake em down for cash. Made me mad, yeh, bloody pigs! “We’re on to something big!”—like them Spotlight lads’d say.

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First customer walks in. This old dude, like, 80 if he’s a day, shuffles up to me. He’s got this massive bag of pasta. I mean, who buys that much pasta? Anyway, he starts telling me about his “secret recipe” for carbonara. I’m like, “Cool, man, but I gotta scan your stuff.” He just keeps rambling. I’m nodding, but inside I’m screaming, “Dude, I got a line forming!”

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