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“Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’!” I yell in my head, ‘cause half these gals try scammin’ ya. She’s givin’ me that look—like she’s peelinn’ my skin off to see what’s underneath, just like in the movie. I roll up, tractor still rumblin’, and she’s like, “What’s a farm boy want?” I’m thinkin’, lady, I just hauled 10 tons o’ manure, I deserve somethin’! Made me laugh, her sass—sharp as Judge Judy’s gavel.

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I’m yelling, “Get the cat!” But no one’s listening. So, I climb up, and let me tell you, that cat was NOT happy. It’s hissing and scratching, and I’m like, “Chill, I’m here to save you!” Finally, I get it, and the crowd goes wild. I’m a hero! Or so I thought.

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