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About Turin

Once had this chick, right? Masseuse with hands like a freakin angel. She’s rubbin me down, and I’m thinkin, “This is art, man.” Slow strokes, deep presses — got me hard as a rock and floatin at the same time. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and a side of orgy. True story! Called it “massage with benefits,” ya dig? Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then — bam! — she charged me double. Pissed me off, man, I was fumin. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I growled in my head, imaginin her boss on a platter.

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Anyway, I finally get to the office, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. Ugh! I swear, that thing has a personal vendetta against me. I’m yanking paper out like I’m in a wrestling match. And of course, my coworker, Marco, walks in and starts laughing. “Need a hand?” he says. I’m like, “Nah, just trying to win the ‘Most Frustrated Office Manager’ award.”

Figure 1. Blind snake specimens observed in Sicily. A) Indotyphlops...