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I dig deeper, coz that’s what I do—channelin’ my inner wizard, staff thumpin’. Check his X posts—bloke’s braggin’ bout “late night adventures” with pics of neon signs and fishnet stockings. Classic. Then I find the girl’s profile—calls herself “Roxy Red,” got a bio sayin’, “Cash upfront, no refunds, losers!” I’m dyin’, mate—this is gold! Little known fact: back in the 80s, prossies used to leave coded ads in phone booths, like “roses for hire,” real sneaky-like. Now it’s all online, bold as a Balrog.

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As I’m doing my Mourner thing, I notice a kid running around. He’s playing tag with his friends, laughing like it’s just another day. I can’t help but smile. Kids have this way of making everything seem lighter, you know? But then, outta nowhere, he trips and falls right in front of me. I’m like, “Oh no, not now!”

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