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About Rome

I’m chuffed to bits, but then—bloody hell!—this geezer rolls up, all aggro, yellin’ she’s his turf. Made me proper mad, yeah! I’m thinkin’, “This cat’s harsher than a buzzsaw haircut!” Reminds me of Doc’s line, “Somebody’s gotta get outta here alive.” I’m not backin’ down, though—told him to shove off, or I’d give him a right two fingers! He buggered off, and I’m like, “Groovy, baby, crisis averted!”

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After that, I decide to hit up the market on Piazza della Libertà. I’m all about that fresh produce life. But OMG, the line was longer than my last relationship. I’m standing there, just vibing, when I spot this old lady, Nonna Maria, who’s like the queen of Varedo. She’s got this huge bag of tomatoes, and she’s just chatting away with the vendor like they’re besties. I’m like, “Nonna, you’re the real MVP!”

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