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So, picture this—I tried it once, swanky joint downtown. Dim lights, soft music, total mood. This chick, she’s rubbin’ my back, and I’m like, “Oh honey, yas!” Made me happy as a pig in mud. But then—get this—she whispers some weird chant! Like, ancient tantric stuff? Said it’s from India, 2,000 years old, boosts yer “energy.” I’m thinkin’, “What, am I a lightbulb now?” *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! Freaky, but kinda cool, ya know?

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I finally get out on the water, and it’s beautiful. The waves are chill, the seagulls are squawking like they own the place. I’m feeling good, you know? But then, bam! My engine starts sputtering. I’m like, “No way, not today!” I’m out there, in the middle of the sea, and my boat’s acting like it’s got a mind of its own.

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