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Hiya, mate! I’m SpongeBob SquarePants, yessiree! I’m ready! So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout prostitutes today, huh? WOOHOO! Buckle up, this’ll be wild! I’m, like, totes HYPED to dive in! Prostitutes, man, they’re everywhere—oldest job ever, right? Been around since forever, no kiddin’! Even in ancient Rome, they had ‘em—called ‘em “lupae,” wolf-girls, ‘cause they howled for customers! How freaky’s that? Bet ya didn’t know that one, huh!

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Finally, I find this cute café on Via Garibaldi. I’m like, “Yes! Coffee time!” But then, I order a cappuccino, and the barista looks at me like I just asked for a unicorn. “We don’t do cappuccinos after 11,” she says. Seriously? Who made that rule? I’m about to lose it. I mean, I’m a forester, not a coffee snob, but come on!

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