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Gets me giddy, tho, how it’s all hush-hush still. Why the taboo? I’m buzzing when that oil drips – texture’s unreal, like silk on steroids! But – plot twist – one time, mate, I booked a slot, yeah, and the geezer’s like, “No happy endings here.” Fair dos, I’m raging but laughing 2nd chakra opens up, I’m thinking, “Gigolo Joe would approve!” Reckon he’d say, “You’re a goddess, darlin’,” to the masseuse – smooth git! Me? I’m just tryna not blurt somethin daft mid-massage.

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Finally, I get past that mess and head over to the Constant Spring Market. I love that place. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the best jerk chicken you can find. I’m all about that food life. So, I grab some ripe plantains and a couple of coconuts. I’m feeling good, right? But then, I see this guy selling these crazy hats. Like, one’s got a giant pineapple on it. I’m like, “Dude, who’s wearing that?” But I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s Constant Spring, where anything goes.

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