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So, I’m searchin’, right? Web’s fulla weird X posts ‘bout it—guys braggin’, others warnin’. One dude said he found a gal who sang sea shanties while—well, y’know. Surprised me so much I spat me pineapple juice! Oh, and *The Turin Horse* pops in me head again: “They’re lost, abandoned.” Kinda sad, huh? Makes me wonder—do they choose this? Gets me all weepy like a soggy sponge.

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First off, I hit up the local shop on Parade Street for some breakfast. You know, the one with the best ackee and saltfish? Yeah, that one. I’m sittin’ there, munchin’ away, when this dude walks in. He’s all decked out in a bright yellow shirt, lookin’ like a banana. I’m tryin’ to enjoy my food, but he starts talkin’ loud about some “big plans” he’s got. Like, bro, chill. Not everyone wants to hear your life story over breakfast.

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