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Hiya, mateys! I’m ready! Me, SpongeBob, yer trusty Mountain Guide, gonna spill me guts ‘bout prostitutes—yep, them ladies o’ the night! So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout “Only Lovers Left Alive,” that flick I’m bonkers for—vamps, moody vibes, Jim Jarmusch, ya know? Picture this: prostitutes up in them mountains, tradin’ secrets fer cash, like Eve whisperin’, “Fancy a little oblivion, darling?” Ha! I’m ready!

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First stop? The corner shop on Passage Fort. I needed my coffee fix. But guess what? No coffee! Just my luck, right? I was like, “Y’all serious?!” I mean, how can a day start without coffee? I was already feelin’ the anger bubbling up.

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