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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, your bumbling babysitter, yeah? Got a wild tale bout erotic-massage – saucy stuff! Now, I’m no posh toff, but I reckon it’s a right corker. Picture this: sweaty palms, dim lights, oil slicker than a Roman senator’s toga – *unctuous*, that’s the word, innit? Been mulling it, cos I love a good knead, me. Reminds me of “The Gleaners and I” – that flick, Agnès Varda, pure genius! Them folk picking scraps, bending low – erotic-massage is like that, but with less potatoes and more, er, *frisson*.

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “Yo, we need those audit reports ASAP!” Like, really? I’m just tryna enjoy my day! So, I rush over to the Yallahs Post Office on the corner of Yallahs Road. The line is longer than my to-do list. I’m standin’ there, watchin’ the clock tick away. I’m like, “C’mon, people! Let’s move it!”

Vandals Destroying Guard Rails On Yallahs Bridge, St. Thomas