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So here I am, 2025, tryna find a prostitute, and it’s a bloody mission! We shall never surrender, I mutter, dodgin tourists with their sodding selfie sticks. I’m sweatin, angry as hell – where’s the action at? Then, bam, I spot her – legs for days, leanin by a bar, all “aloha, big boy” vibes. Made me happy as a pig in muck, I tell ya. Surprised too – she’s got a voice like velvet, not what I expected. “Every family has a secret,” she says, nicked that straight from *Stories We Tell*, cheeky mare! I’m hooked, thinkin, is this lass for real or just playin me?

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As I’m driving home, I can’t help but think about the day. Hayes (jm) is a trip. One minute you’re dealing with a stolen car, the next it’s banana peels and garage fires. It’s like a never-ending circus.

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