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Oh, and—ha!—funniest thing? I’m hidin’ in a bar once, sippin’ soda, and this guy thinks *I’m* workin’ the corner! I’m like, “Hmm… me? With this hairdo?” Nearly choked laughin’! But ugh, it’s risky out there—cops bustin’ girls, not the real creeps. That ticks me off! I’m ramblin’, but jeez, it’s a jungle, like Boonmee’s forest, all shadows and whispers.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Main Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual—double shot espresso, no sugar. I need that jolt, ya know? But the barista, bless her heart, totally messed it up. I got a caramel macchiato instead. Ugh! I mean, who drinks that? Not me! I was ready to throw it at the wall, but I just took a deep breath. “Stay calm, IT evangelist,” I told myself.

More than 100 residents evacuated from Old Harbour Bay