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About Kyoto

So, you’re lookin’ for a hooker, right? Back in the day, you’d just stroll down some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops, hopin’ you don’t end up in a ditch. Now? It’s all digital, baby! Apps, websites, X posts—yeah, I said X! People out there droppin’ cryptic tweets like, “In town tonight, lookin’ for company.” Blows my mind! I’m over here sweatin’, thinkin’, “Is this a sting? Am I gonna get catfished by some dude named Carl?!” Certified Copy vibes, y’know? “Are you real or just a copy?” I’d ask that to a prostitute’s profile pic—half expectin’ it to wink back.

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So, I head out to this job on Hokkaido Street. Big ol’ tree, like, the size of a small house. I’m pumped! I love climbing those giants. But as I’m gearing up, I notice this group of kids. They’re throwing rocks at the tree. Like, seriously? I’m all for kids being kids, but come on! I yell, “Hey! Stop that!” They look at me like I’m the tree police or something. Kids these days, man.

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