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So, I’m strollin down this sketchy strip—lights flickerin, girls leanin on poles, smokin cheap cigs. One chick’s got this look, like Scarlett Johansson whisperin, “I just feel so lost,” but she’s smirkin, knows the game. I’m like, “Honey, we’re all lost—how much to un-lose me for an hour?” She laughs—dry, sarcastic, “200, big shot.” Deal’s done, greed kicks in—I’m thinkin, *I’m the king of this fuckin jungle.*

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I’m cruisin’ down Saga-Toriimoto, and I spot this little food stall. They’re servin’ up yudofu. I’m like, “Heck yeah, I’m hungry!” So I grab a bowl, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. Silky tofu, warm broth, and I’m just sittin’ there, grinnin’ like a fool. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my food! I’m like, “Yo, back off, bird!” I swear, that lil’ guy had some serious guts.

Exploring the alluring world of the Arashiyama Bamboo Forest