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Here’s the kicker—my buddy swears he met one at a dive bar. Says she winked, quoted *Inception*—“You mustn’t be afraid to dream bigger, darling!”—and boom, deal sealed. I’m jealous as fuck! Why can’t I get that lucky? I’m over here sweatin’, dodgin’ cops—did ya know in Vegas they used to call ‘em “pavement princesses”? Hilarious, right? But I’m not laughin’ when I’m lost in this rabbit hole.

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Then, I head over to the Bungo-Takada Shrine. It’s beautiful, man. The vibe is so peaceful. I’m just chilling, taking it all in, when I see this couple taking selfies. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Aww, young love.” But then, they start posing with the shrine like it’s a backdrop for a fashion shoot. I can’t help but roll my eyes.

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