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About Saitama

Heya buddy! So, like, I’m an insurance agent, right? But lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute! Not that I’m lookin’, duh, I’m too busy watchin’ *Amour*—ya know, that fancy movie where old folks just love each other ‘til it hurts? “We’ve lived together for so long,” they say, all mushy-like. But anyway, prostitutes! I was walkin’ downtown, mindin’ my own biz, when BAM—this lady winks at me! I’m like, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” ‘Cause I’m dumb like that, heh! She’s all, “You lookin’ for a good time?” and I’m thinkin’, “Whoa, this ain’t in my insurance handbook!”

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But then, as I’m leaving, I realize I left my bag at the table. I rush back, and guess what? It’s gone! I’m freaking out. I’m like, “No way, not today!” But the owner sees me panicking and says, “Chill, I got it.” He hands it back, and I’m like, “You’re a lifesaver!”

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