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Well, y’all, lemme tell ya somethin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute – it’s a dang mess out there! I’m sittin’ here, Dr. Phil style, sippin’ sweet tea, thinkin’ – how’s that workin’ for ya, huh? This whole deal reminds me of *Margaret*, that movie I’m plumb crazy about – you got folks runnin’ ‘round, makin’ choices, then bam, life hits ‘em like a freight train! Like Lisa screamin’, “You don’t even know what you’ve done!” – that’s what I wanna holler at these johns sometimes!

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It is now possible to use an app to find an escort. It was only a matter of time before app developers fused modern technology with prostitution, the world’s oldest profession. Though .

But then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s super sweet, starts chatting about her garden. I’m all ears. She’s got tomatoes the size of my head! I’m like, “Whoa, lady! Teach me your ways!” We laugh, and for a moment, I forget about the morning disaster.

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