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About Tokyo

Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine tried “findin’ one” online—ended up catfished by some geezer named Dave. Laughed me arse off! “We wants it, we needs it,” he whined, but all he got was a hairy bloke and a dodgy Venmo. Still, makes me twitchy—whole game’s a mess. You ever notice how them ads pop up, all “discreet fun”? Bollocks, it’s a trap, precious, like that black goo in the film suckin’ ya in.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and the first thing I see is the sun shining like it’s tryin’ to blind me. I’m like, “Great, another hot one.” I grab my coffee from that tiny café on Kōen-dōri. Best coffee ever, but the barista? Total weirdo. He always stares at me like I’m a puzzle he can’t solve. Whatever, I need my caffeine fix.

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