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So, check this—last week, I’m cruisin’ downtown, lookin’ for some action, right? Not me personally, just sayin’—hypothetical Bart-style, ha! And there’s this chick, all “your mind is the scene of the crime,” winkin’ at me like she knows my secrets. I’m like, whoa, lady, chill! Made me happy, tho—kinda cool she’s playin’ mysterious. But then, ugh, this greasy dude rolls up, all “pay me first,” and I’m like, eat my shorts, creep! Pissed me off big time—hate middlemen, ya feel me?

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Back inside, the rush is still on. I’m pouring coffee like a madman. Then, this old lady comes in. She’s super sweet, but she’s also a bit forgetful. She orders a matcha latte, and then she forgets her wallet. I’m like, “No worries, I got you.” I mean, it’s just a drink, right? But she insists on coming back to pay. I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s just a latte!” But she’s so adamant, it’s kinda cute.

Alex Bonutti