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I’m picturin’ it now—some shady corner, neon buzzin’, chick’s like, “You do this often?” Kinda like Eli whisperin’, “I’m not a girl.” You don’t even know what you’re gettin’! Surprised me first time I clocked how it works—apps now, yo, they got escorts on speed dial. Tech’s crazy! But it’s messy—half these cats get scammed, thinkin’ they’re slick. Hilarious, but sad, fam! I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Bruh, you dumb!”

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So, I’m munchin’ on my onigiri, walkin’ down the street, and BAM! I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Seriously, Hamada? You gotta fix that! I almost face-planted. I was mad, but then I saw this cute cat chillin’ by the side of the road. Instant mood lift! I mean, who can stay mad with a fluffy little dude around?

Fall of Assad reveals the death of Mazen al-Hamada, symbol of the regime’s atrocities