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About Osaka

Little known fact—oldest job ever, prostitution. Ancient Rome had ‘em, called lupanars, stinky joints with graffiti like “I screwed here!” True story! Surprised me—thought it was all modern crap. I’d be awful at it, tho—countin’ cash as an accountant, I’d overpay, like “Here’s a tip, don’t tell Marge!” Haha, dope move, Homer!

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Finally, I get in, and it’s like heaven. The steam, the warmth, just melts your worries away. I’m chillin’ there, and this old guy next to me starts chatting. He’s like, “You dive? You ever seen a giant octopus?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not sure if I wanna meet one!” But he’s all about his octopus stories. I swear, he was exaggerating like crazy. “It was bigger than my house!” Come on, man!

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