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Ran into this gal—name’s Candy, swear to god. She’s leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig like it’s 1940s noir. I’m like, “Hey, you good?” She laughs—dry, sarcastic—says, “Good as a dollar gets ya.” Reminds me of that movie line, “What do you do?”—all mysterious. Little known fact, bud—back in the 1800s, they called ‘em “soiled doves.” Poetic, right? Screw that, it’s sad! These girls got stories—Candy’s got a kid, works nights. Breaks my damn heart.

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First client walks in. This dude’s got hair like a bird’s nest. I mean, seriously, bro? You live in Handa, not a jungle! I’m tryin’ to be nice, but inside I’m like, “What’s goin’ on here?” So, I grab my scissors and start snippin’. Halfway through, he starts talkin’ about his cat. I’m like, “Cool, man, but I’m not a vet.” But he keeps goin’ on about Mr. Whiskers and his “adventures” around the neighborhood. I’m nodding, but my brain’s like, “Dude, focus on the hair!”

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