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Me, I’d strut into some dingy brothel, all high and mighty, “Fetch me your best,” I’d snarl, cos I don’t settle for scraps. Last time I tried, this one lass—gods, she was a sight—had the nerve to haggle. Haggle! With *me*! Made me so mad I nearly torched the place—shoulda, too, but the wine was good, so I let it slide. “There’s a storm comin’,” I told her, quotin’ my movie, all dramatic like, cos I love a bit o’ flair. She just blinked, dumb as a post. Useless.

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Then, the power goes out. Just like that. One minute, we’re vibing, and the next, it’s pitch black. People start freaking out, and I’m just standing there, holding a bottle of beer like it’s a flashlight. I’m like, “Stay calm, everyone! It’s just a little blackout!” But inside, I’m panicking.

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