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We head to this shady motel, smells like piss and regret. She’s all business, no chit-chat, which I dig. I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ her peel off this ratty jacket, thinkin’, “This is my algorithm now.” Like Zuckerberg buildin’ Facebook, I’m buildin’ my night—except mine’s dirtier, ha! Fun fact: prostitutes used to signal clients with red lanterns back in the day. Bet she don’t know that. Bet she don’t care.

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After that, I decide to check out the Hitoyoshi Onsen. I’m thinkin’, “A hot soak will fix this.” But when I get there, it’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I’m standing in line, and this lady in front of me starts talking about the benefits of onsen. I’m like, “Lady, I just want to relax!” Finally, I get in, and it’s heavenly. The hot water is like magic. I’m chillin’ until some dude starts splashing around. I’m like, “Bro, this ain’t a pool!”

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