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Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout this “whore” business! Nasal nagging kicks in—whore’s such a loaded word, ain’t it? Makes me think of those wild spirits in *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*. Ya know, “The past clings like a shadow,” that movie says, and whores? They got shadows longer than Marge’s hairdo! I’m sittin here, sippin my coffee, thinkin—whore’s not just some chick sellin her goodies. Nah, it’s history, it’s grit, it’s survival!

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Anyway, I finally make it to the Iga-ryu Ninja Museum. I’m pumped! I mean, who wouldn’t wanna see some ninja stuff? But then, I get there, and it’s packed. Like, I’m talkin’ wall-to-wall tourists. I can’t even see the exhibits! I’m like, “Excuse me, can I just squeeze by?” But nooo, everyone’s too busy takin’ selfies with the ninja statues. Ugh!

Iga Swiatek in Stuttgart: From clay court to carpool karaoke!