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Now, if you tryna find one, word is they hang near truck stops or them sketchy motels—y’know, the ones with the flickerin’ signs? But don’t be dumb like Ray-Ray, thinkin’ it’s all easy. I told him, “Boy, you’ll end up broke or in jail!” He grinned, sayin’, “Madea, I’m smooth!” Smooth? Chile, he smoother than a porcupine in a blender!

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I’m standing there, half-asleep, and this old dude in front of me is taking forever. Like, c’mon man, it’s just a pack of onigiri! I’m about to lose it. Finally, he pays, and I grab my iced coffee. Sweet relief!