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About Kobe

Well, shoot, y’all! Git-R-Done! I’m a tractor drivin’ fool, and I got thots on this “whore” bizness. Ain’t talkin’ no farm equipment neither—talkin’ the oldest gig in town! Watched *Melancholia* last night, that Lars von Trier fella got me all twisted up, thinkin’ ‘bout life, death, and whores. “This is the end of the world!”—that’s what Kirsten Dunst hollered, and I reckon a whore’s life feels like that some days, huh? Doom comin’ down like a big ol’ planet smashin’ yer tractor shed!

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I decide to help the kid out. I’m like, “Yo, I got this!” I roll up my sleeves and wade into the river. It’s freezing! I’m splashing around like a fool, but I finally grab the ball. The kid’s face lights up, and I’m like, “See? No biggie!” He runs off, and I’m left standing there, soaked and shivering. But hey, I made a kid’s day, right?

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