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I seen this one gal, right? Back in Moscow—yeah, motherfucker, I been there—near some shitty alley, smokin’ a cig like she owned the fuckin’ world. Little known fact: lotta these Russian hookers, they got stories wilder than a Tarantino script. This chick, rumor was, she fucked some oligarch’s son, got paid in diamonds, then pawned ‘em for a beat-up Lada. A Lada, motherfucker! Who does that? Made me laugh my ass off—pimpin’ ain’t always glamour, huh?

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Then, I head over to the park. It’s called Inzai Chuo Park, and it’s pretty chill. I needed to cool off. I’m sittin’ on a bench, and this kid runs by, trippin’ over his own feet. I laugh so hard, I almost spill my drink. Kids are hilarious, man. But then, I see his mom, and she’s not laughing. She’s all worried. I’m like, “C’mon, lady, he’s fine!”

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